### **Cues Cheatsheet: The Science of Charisma** The core principle is to intentionally signal **Warmth** (trust) and **Competence** (capability) to operate in the **Charisma Zone**. **The Equation:** `Charisma = Warmth + Competence` --- ### ✅ **WARMTH CUES (Build Trust & Connection)** *Goal: Signal you are a friend, not a foe. Answer the subconscious question: "Can I trust you?"* #### **Nonverbal (Body Language)** * **Leaning In:** Signals interest and engagement. The single fastest way to show you're interested. * **Nodding:** Shows agreement and encourages the other person to continue. * **Head Tilting:** A universal sign of listening and curiosity. * **Mirroring:** Subtly matching another's posture and gestures to build rapport and show respect. * **Genuine Smile:** A "Duchenne" smile that reaches your eyes signals authentic happiness. * **Eyebrow Raise:** The 1/5th of a second "flash" that signals recognition and acknowledgment. * **Open Palms:** Signals honesty and that you have nothing to hide. #### **Vocal & Verbal** * **Vocal Invitations:** Use encouraging sounds like "mhm," "aha," and "oh!" to show active listening. * **"Warm Words":** Use collaborative language like *we, together, I agree, that's exciting, let's*. * **Asking Questions:** Shows you value their opinion and are curious about them. --- ### 🚀 **COMPETENCE CUES (Project Power & Credibility)** *Goal: Signal capability and authority. Answer the subconscious question: "Can I rely on you?"* #### **Nonverbal (Body Language)** * **Power Posture:** Take up space. Stand tall with open limbs and a straight spine. * **Steepling:** Touching fingertips together. A universal sign of confidence and thoughtful processing. * **Explanatory Gestures:** Using your hands to illustrate points, which makes ideas more compelling. * **Lower Lid Flex:** A slight squint that signals intense focus, scrutiny, and engagement. * **Fronting:** Aligning your torso and feet directly with the person you're speaking to shows respect and full attention. #### **Vocal & Verbal** * **Downward Inflection:** Ending statements on a lower note sounds declarative and confident. * **Power Pauses:** Pause for 1-2 seconds before or after an important point to add weight and create intrigue. * **Lower Vocal Pitch:** Speaking from a lower, more grounded register commands authority. * **"Competent Words":** Use language that signals expertise, clarity, and data: *results, metrics, system, proven, research*. --- ### ❌ **DANGER ZONE CUES (Avoid These)** *Goal: Eliminate signals that project nervousness, dishonesty, or disinterest.* #### **Nonverbal (Body Language)** * **Distancing/Blocking:** Moving away, crossing your arms, or placing objects (like a laptop or notebook) between you and others. * **Self-Soothing:** Comfort gestures that reveal anxiety, such as: * **Neck/Face Touching:** The #1 tell of anxiety. * **Suprasternal Notch Touch:** Touching the dip between the collarbones is a powerful signal of distress. * **Hand Wringing/Rubbing:** A sign of nervousness. * **Lip Purse:** Pressing lips together signals you are withholding information or disagreeing. * **Mouth Shrug:** Pulling the corners of the mouth down signals doubt or disbelief. #### **Vocal & Verbal** * **Vocal Fry:** A low, creaky, grating sound at the end of sentences that signals low energy and kills credibility. * **Question Inflection:** Raising your pitch at the end of a statement, which makes you sound unsure. * **Fillers & Fluff:** Overusing words like *um, ah, like, you know, kind of, sort of*. * **Vocal Denials:** Using negative framing like "I don't mean to bother you..." or "I'm not an expert, but..." --- **How to Practice:** 1. **Decode:** Spot these cues in others (in meetings, on TV). 2. **Encode:** Intentionally practice one new cue at a time in a low-stakes environment. 3. **Internalize:** Use the cue until it becomes a natural part of your communication style. #communication