#relationships #love #humans
Created at 2022-12-21
# [Anonymous feedback](https://www.admonymous.co/louis030195)
# [[Epistemic status]]
#shower-thought #to-digest
# Related
- [[Philosophy/Humans/Relationship independence]]
- [[Personal growth/Loneliness]]
- [[Philosophy/Humans/Love]]
- [[Readwise/Books/Jiddu Krishnamurti - On Love and Loneliness]]
- [[Philosophy/Humans/Blood relationships]]
# Dependency
>Dependence is one of the things we run to, depend on, because we can’t stand being alone with ourselves. We must have the radio or books or talking, incessant chatter about this and that, about art and culture. So we come to that point when we know there is this extraordinary sense of selfisolation. We may have a very good job, work furiously, write books, but inwardly there is this tremendous vacuum. We want to fill that and dependence is one of the ways. We use dependence, amusement, church work, religions, drink, women, a dozen things to fill it up.
>~ [[Krishnamurti|Jiddu Krishnamurti]]
>Check (punish) your passions that you may not be punished by them
>~ [[Golden Sayings Of Epictetus - Epictetus|Epictetus]]
>The mind which is free from passions is a citadel, for man has nothing more secure to which he can fly for refuge and for the future be inexpugnable . He then who has not seen this is an ignorant man: but he who has seen it and does not fly to this refuge is unhappy.
>~ [[Marcus Aurelius]]
>There is no fire like passion, there is no shark like hatred, there is no snare like folly, there is no torrent like greed.
>~ [[Siddharta Gautama]]
>When insecurity creeps into dependency, as it inevitably does, then that particular relationship is cast aside and a new one taken on in the hope of finding lasting security; but there is no security in relationship, and dependency only breeds fear. Without understanding the process of security and fear, relationship becomes a binding hindrance, a way of ignorance. Then all existence is struggle and pain, and there is no way out of it save in right thinking, which comes through self-knowledge.
>~ [[Krishnamurti|Jiddu Krishnamurti]]
>Without someone to lean on, to give them a sense of comfort and security, they feel lonely. They feel lost. This dependency on another is called love; but if you observe it very closely, you will see that dependency is fear, it is not love.
>~ [[Krishnamurti|Jiddu Krishnamurti]]
>We do the same with an ideal or a belief. I believe in something, or I hold on to an ideal, and that gives me great comfort; but remove the ideal, remove the belief, and I am lost. It is the same thing with a guru. I depend because I want to receive, so there is the ache of fear. Again, it is the same when you depend on your parents or teachers. It is natural and right that you should do so when you are young; but if you keep on depending when you have grown to maturity, that will make you incapable of thinking, of being free. Where there is dependence, there is fear, and where there is fear, there is authority, there is no love.
>~ [[Krishnamurti|Jiddu Krishnamurti]]
>Most people are afraid to stand alone; they are afraid to think things out for themselves, afraid to feel deeply, to explore and discover the whole meaning of life. Therefore they say they love God, and they depend on what they call God; but it is not God, the unknown, it is a thing created by the mind.
>~ [[Krishnamurti|Jiddu Krishnamurti]]
