--- aliases: [] --- #social #hack #game-theory #cooperation #rationality # [[Epistemic status]] #shower-thought # TODO - find quote about "bird + cage + alone" thingy # Related - [[Readwise/Podcasts/The Knowledge Project with Shane Parrish - #122 Robert Cialdini - The Principles of Persuasion]] # Social hacks “Hack” sounds negative and a kind of tricking of other people, I don’t mean it though, just ways to a live better socially. >Put a smile on your face. When people are in a positive frame of mind, they think more quickly, and are more likely to collaborate and problem-solve (instead of fight and resist). Positivity creates mental agility in both you and your counterpart. >~ [[Chris Voss - Never Split the Difference Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It]] ## My hacks - Focus on other person(s) desire, interest, personality, ask question and listen, don't talk about yourself -> see [[Conversation alignment]] - marketing? underline what it brings to the other, advantage to other, what other's problem it will solve, talk about his problem etc. - Make other feel important - [[Epistemic humility]], avoid dogmatism, #floating-point-error , weight other point, place yourself in other's mind, update your beliefs ## Dale Carnegie's 30 Principles To Win Friends & Influence People 1. Don't Criticize, Condemn or Complain 2. Give Honest, Sincere, Appreciation 3. Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want 4. Become Genuinely Interested In Other People 5. Smile 6. Remember That A Person's Name Is To That Person The Sweetest And Most Important Sound In Any Language 7. Be A Good Listener. Encourage Others To Talk About Themselves 8. Talk In Terms Of The Other Person's Interests 9. Make The Other Person Feel Important - And Do It Sincerely 10. The Only Way To Get The Best Of An Argument Is To Avoid It 11. Show Respect For The Other Person's Opinion. Never Say, "You're Wrong." 12. If You Are Wrong Admit It Quickly And Emphatically 13. Begin In A Friendly Manner 14. Get The Other Person Saying "Yes, Yes" 15. Let The Other Person Do A Great Deal Of The Talking 16. Let The Other Person Feel That The Idea Is His Or Hers 17. Try Honestly To See Things From The Other Person's Point Of View 18. Be Sympathetic With The Other Person's Ideas And Desires 19. Appeal To The Nobler Motives 20. Dramatize Your Ideas 21. Throw Down A Challenge 22. Begin With Praise And Honest Appreciation 23. Call Attention To People's Mistakes Indirectly 24. Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing The Other Person 25. Ask Questions Instead Of Giving Direct Orders 26. Let The Other Person Save Face 27. Praise The Slightest Improvement And Praise Every Improvement. Be "Hearty In Your Approbation And Lavish In Your Praise". 28. Give The Other Person A Fine Reputation To Live Up To 29. Use Encouragement. Make The Fault Seem Easy To Correct 30. Make The Other Person Happy About Doing The Thing You Suggest ## Deep relationships ### Knowing private things about each other >People form close friendships by **knowing private things about each other**, and the reason most people don’t make close friends is because they’re too embarrassed to share anything really important about themselves. >~ [[Eliezer Yudkowsky]] Sharing a deep personal secret with someone instantly trigger a connection (except if the other person is an [[Artificial intelligence|AI]], or maybe if it's [[Philosophy/Consciousness/Consciousness|conscious]] 🐒) In my experience it can also create an awkward situation or make people uncomfortable (probably because my deep secrets are too brutal for the average mind). ### [[Reciprocation]] pressure with an unsolicited gift >The same could be said of Draco’s clever use of reciprocation pressure with an unsolicited gift, a technique which Harry had read about in his social psychology books >~ [[Eliezer Yudkowsky]] # External links <iframe width="560" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LFhyL4pqqc8" title="YouTube video player" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen></iframe> Similar topic links: [[Social hacks]] [[Social experiment]] [[Challenge your coworkers]] [[Social expectations]] [[Reciprocation]]