Out of the Fog - Dana Morningstar  ## Metadata - Author: **Dana Morningstar** - Full Title: Out of the Fog - Category: #books ## Highlights - The “FOG” is an acronym for fear, obligation, and guilt, and was coined by Susan Forward & Donna Frazier in their book *Emotional Blackmail* to describe the emotions most commonly used by emotional manipulators to gain and keep control over others and over certain situations. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gwgseahty3ryq360jbbaj0w8)) - Well-intended bad advice is like a monkey seeing a fish in a lake, and thinking the fish is drowning, rushes over to pull it out of the water so it can place it safely in a tree ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gwgsgm0nfrvkz9a7xsh9v0vg)) - It’s very common for people to try to minimize their partner’s problematic behavior, *especially* if they want to stay in the relationship. One way that people tend to rationalize what they are experiencing is by telling themselves that “things could always be worse.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gwgszgk4yy59rxk8emv4e0gd)) - The “caretaking and coddling” type of codependent behavior is full of justifying and enabling problematic behavior, being easily manipulated into thinking that this problematic adult doesn’t understand the basics of adult behavior and that they are responsible for teaching them It’s also putting everyone else’s wants and needs ahead of our own, feeling like a perpetual parent or therapist to their partner or friends, and having weak, poor, or nonexistent boundaries. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01gwgt8xpsp9kcjfs8qw2923jg))