Come as You Are - Emily Nagoski  ## Metadata - Author: **Emily Nagoski** - Full Title: Come as You Are - Category: #books ## Highlights - Some questions to consider: • What strategies would you use to create more time for sex? • What would give you more energy for sex? • What aspects of your relationship would enhance sex? • What challenges in your relationship would you like to overcome? • What would your relationship with your body be like? • How would you initiate sex? • How would you respond when your partner initiated? • What sexual cues would you notice? • What kinds of thoughts would you have about sex? • How do you feel about your partner’s sexual arousal, desire, and orgasm? • How would you feel about your own desire, arousal, and orgasm? • How would you feel about giving pleasure? • How would you feel about receiving pleasure? • How would you manage the cultural shaming that some people would try to impose on you for being empowered and in control of your own body? • What would be your favorite thing ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j2sak0j9vfrzmr4d3x1vg0rn)) - The dominance of the clitoris in women’s orgasms explains why 80–90 percent of women who masturbate typically do so with little or no vaginal penetration, including when they use vibrators.[11](https://readwise.io/reader/document_raw_content/47334907/#ch08note11) But ya know, there’s this old saying: “It ain’t the size of the boat, it’s the motion of the ocean.” The wisdom this attempts to convey is that it’s not the size of the penis penetrating the vagina, it is the collaborative stimulation between partners (or possibly the skill of one or the other of the “sailors”) that creates pleasure and orgasm for a woman during intercourse. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j2sarztm5xatp07wwrev140n)) - The most important thing you can do to have a great sex life is to welcome your sexuality as it is, right now—even if it’s not what you wanted or expected it to be. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01j2san2pgex5grdr7jzpdzm06))