Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play: Transforming the Buyer/Seller Relationship - Mahan Khalsa  ## Metadata - Author: **Mahan Khalsa** - Full Title: Let's Get Real or Let's Not Play: Transforming the Buyer/Seller Relationship - Category: #books ## Highlights - The irony with reactance is that the harder you try to “sell” people, the less likely it is to happen. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jd8zr1kw42fjnbmcmhzmvd84)) - > > The moment there is suspicion about a person’s motives, everything he does becomes tainted. > > —Mahatma Gandhi ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jd8zx7a7bkjqqhngy63gjy19)) - We are more successful when we concentrate on the success of others rather than on our own. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jd90030jrffv15t934zhts8b)) - EXERCISE Step 1: Write down three to five ways your clients typically request a solution. Step 2: For each of these ways, write out a “Move off the Solution” response. Vary your responses a bit. Step 3: Practice your responses until they are completely natural. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdaq2my0n4gq7w96f17sr6tb)) - Hard issues can readily be converted to money. When an issue is “hard,” ask the “Five Golden Questions”: > > 1. How do you measure it? > > 2. What is it now? > > 3. What would you like it to be? > > 4. What is the value of the difference? > > 5. What is the value over time (over a reasonable management horizon—e.g., two to three years)? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdaqfxnq6kceb592wgfpzsdb)) - ❖ If you can’t quantify (and even if you can), qualify importance on a scale of 1-10. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdbmh4fxxc2bqeyyh6248c1g)) - typical roles would be: > > • Initiator: Opens the transaction. > > • Gatekeeper: Controls information flow and access. > > • Champion: Willing to support our cause and aid access to decision makers. > > • Influencer: Nonbuyer who affects the purchase—from inside or outside the organization. > > • User: Affected directly by the purchase. > > • Decision maker: Makes the decision to buy. > > • Ratifier: Approves the decision to buy. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdfenxkq9a0pg4fs9va8c30h)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdfennv2jpz2gaqetjwd0kdh)) - In initiating opportunities, the End in Mind is often, “Should we be talking?” In qualifying, it is often, “Should we keep talking?” In enabling decisions, it often takes the form “Should you do this with us?” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdg7c0seyt10bvbc7cfckjrz)) - .There is failure to gain client agreement on the End in Mind either before the meeting or at the beginning of the meeting. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdg7cqsks46dfs43ebzqrx6h)) - > > MEETING PLAN > > End in Mind > > Key Beliefs > > Proof/Action > > Questions > > Yellow Lights > > Next Steps > > Agenda ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdg7ekcnz1vj6pcqcaqnbtf4)) - People make decisions based on beliefs. We are more likely to enable the End in Mind if we can explicitly state and resolve the underlying beliefs that support that decision. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdg8qvw5tcg0dq3qn9m392z5)) - FACTS AND DATA: Research on objections shows that many are simply a result of inaccurate or insufficient information. It could be as simple as clients thinking we do not provide a particular product feature even though we do. Perhaps they came to a conclusion based on inaccurate numbers or missing facts. As long as the yellow light shows up while we are still there, it can often be turned to green by simply providing what was missing or correcting inaccuracies. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdk6sah48h01jy2sz6ey1fsr)) - They often use their own personalized version of “feel, felt, found” (“I understand how you feel, other clients have felt that way, what they found was . . .”). While the use of third-party stories is not new, the fact that they are so effective has important implications. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdk6zetnw9y6dq7vxnr56e8a)) - > > Take some of the most difficult and/or frequent objections you encounter and find a metaphor that applies. You can research and select metaphors others have created or develop one of your own. Develop multiple metaphors and see how reactions to them differ. > > 2. Make storytelling a conscious competence; read some books and/or takes some courses; collect stories; practice your storytelling. > > 3. Explore experiential metaphors that people can see, do, hear, while you are with them. (For an example of a visual experiential metaphor, go to [www.viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/media/ig.html](http://www.viscog.beckman.uiuc.edu/media/ig.html) and watch the “Basketball video.” How might you use this?) ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdk7bw6zfexyptdxzbt0h7ar)) - Many consultants are vulnerable to price challenges because they: > > • Do not establish value up-front. > > • Know their prices are flexible. > > • Believe that all price challenges are real. > > • Believe that their counterpart knows competitive pricing. > > • Dislike discussing prices. > > • Focus on defending prices rather than providing results. > > • Want the sale. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdkbe0ppjzm35zy5edpsh5a5)) - We have all heard it—sales is a numbers game. Just make more calls and you will sell more. If that approach is working for you, keep doing it. The authors’ experience is that often the opposite is true. When we focus on increasing low-probability activities such as cold calls, we just do more of something that doesn’t work. The more calls we try to cram into the available time, the less attention goes into each call. As quality decreases, rejections increase. As rejections increase, we make more calls. This is not a good system. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdkbf1d1jyydyxcg9j17j5zz)) - be: > > • “I really appreciate the time we have to spend together today. I know time is valuable, and I want to make sure that whatever we discuss is as relevant as possible. If we were only able to talk about one, two, or three key issues (around the topic of interest) that would make this a good use of your time, what would you like to make sure we cover?” > > • “One of the benefits I believe we bring to the table is tying our solution to your key business strategies and objectives. Would you feel comfortable starting out our conversation talking at a high level about what you see as the top three to five business challenges or opportunities you face over the next one to two years?” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdkbn6mm90ka2ggj3bk8qaq8)) - The last preparation element of the Meeting Plan is the agenda. If this is a first call, an agenda isn’t necessary. However if during your first call you and the client decide that it makes sense to meet or talk again, framing out an agenda for that meeting is helpful. Typically, agendas read like this: > > 1. Introductions > > 2. Our company overview > > 3. Our company’s products/services/methodologies > > 4. Clients our company has worked with > > 5. Next steps ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jdkbps87wxx629522291f108)) ## New highlights added February 8, 2025 at 7:14 AM - > > 1. The degree of trust has hard economic consequences: as trust goes up, speed goes up and costs go down. As trust decreases, everything slows and costs rise. (Most of us understand this intuitively; Stephen backs it up with evidence.) > > 2. You can build trust on purpose. Earning trust is a skill that you can learn and improve. It need not be left to good luck, circumstance, or hope. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkjzhpxtwwprzzqv1ghkfnj2)) - The more important it is to meet your numbers, the more important it is to stop concentrating on your numbers and start concentrating on the client’s numbers. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkjzr3d4tdvtrxcdv8yp1ytp)) - Solutions Have No Inherent Value ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkjzrwnssps61wcw03g2rc8d)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkk077mnc46hwhpx771zavjb)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkk0ggenxvm82tb20efq80g4)) - Issues: What problems or results is the client trying to address? In what priority? Evidence: How do we define the problem? How do we measure success? Impact: What are the financial and intangible costs and benefits? Context: Who or what else is affected by the issues and the solution? Constraints: What has stopped (or might stop) the organization from resolving these issues? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkk0h1bz1ymaevnnhqde76zg)) - Time: When are they hoping to see the results in place? People: Which people resources are they willing to commit? Money: What level of investment is appropriate for the desired results? ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkk0h8h0r8jdrydht8esjap0)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jkk0hbpms17cmd7pgqj8caa1)) ## New highlights added February 17, 2025 at 7:13 AM - Clients often describe their situations with what linguists call “complex equivalents” or “high-level abstractions.” These are words or phrases that encode many experiences and beliefs into one small package. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jma6q0t76p5hyevcdjcme4g2)) - Thomas Davenport, in his book Information Ecology, states, “The more an organization knows about a term or concept relevant to the business, the less likely it is to agree on a common term or meaning for it.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jma6tmxks9fqjdgpqp9cn2av)) - When you are driving, particularly when you are anxious to arrive somewhere important, and you encounter a yellow light, what do you do? If you are like many people, you go faster. Yellow lights have almost become the universal symbol for “Speed up!” Unfortunately, we use that same response with our clients. We hear something that concerns us, see a reaction that spells potential trouble, feel we are running into difficulty, then speed up to avoid running into our own worst fears. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jma73adkdyt0bce2d7rxygrj)) ## New highlights added February 17, 2025 at 6:20 PM - One day I was calling on a large financial services firm. I had invited an important partner from a large consulting firm to accompany me—so I could show off my tremendous talents. (That was the first yellow light—I definitely did not check my ego at the door.) We were supposed to meet with the person championing our cause, as well as the chief executive officer and a vice president of marketing. When we arrived, we were informed that my champion, who was to fly in for the meeting, was not going to be there. (That was the second yellow light, but I moved right ahead.) As we were escorted up to the offices, we were informed that the CEO also could not make the meeting. (Major yellow light.) If I had not invited the consulting VIP to accompany me, I would have called off the meeting. It turns out that I should have called it off, and did not. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmbdjw49bx9qbz0qxqam0q6z)) ## New highlights added February 18, 2025 at 7:20 AM - Many consultants present to open rather than to close. They are so enthusiastic about their solution that they present it at the very first opportunity. Unfortunately, more often than not they are guessing about what will be convincing to the client and they are often presenting to people who are not authorized to say yes. Are we surprised their win rate is low? (And when win rates are low, management ironically often pushes to do more proposals rather than improve quality.) Quantity over quality starts to prevail, creating a losing situation for all parties. When we present our solution, the objective is to have everything and everyone necessary for a decision together in the same place at the same time. We present, they decide. Done. If we present and they cannot decide, we presented prematurely. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmcr56xp4jmxd19qdtjajbfe)) - Vocal cues: We can hear the tone, emphasis, inflection, and pace of language. (Can you remember a time when you sent an e-mail or a letter that you thought was very funny—it sounded funny when you said it to yourself—but was dead on arrival?) Visual cues: We get powerful nonverbal feedback. Interaction: There is give and take; we can respond to questions, address concerns, and react. Flexibility: If something is not working, we can change; we can react to new developments, challenges, and directions. Rapport: People feel who we are as human beings, and vice versa. Mutual understanding: It’s hard to come to a true meeting of the minds in a written document. Closure: We have the opportunity to conclude with a decision, or to know what it would take to get one. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmcrbc7ss8kkfskyt2s5jwct)) - Do not present in writing what you could present in person. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmcrc5fezas7b8m45d0kd0a7)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmcrw9bk5bava00ddgefb8c9)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmcrx1frqhj7mrj1qk59g413)) -  ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmcrx9c9pwzq7yh9qx6yd5nh)) ## New highlights added February 19, 2025 at 7:31 AM - > > “I’m busy. Call me later.” > > > Response: “I would be happy to. May I give you a quick overview of what we might discuss and you can decide if you even want me to call back? If it is not of interest, I don’t want to waste your time.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmfahskp3y3zym83f99v9man)) - > > am happy with our current partner.” > > > Response: “That’s good to hear. In the interest of continuous improvement, is there anything that your current partner doesn’t do, or do well, that might be worth exploring? No is an okay answer.” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmfahyjvxnnmdxay51zcgax9)) - > > “I am not interested.” > > > Response: “Thanks for being direct. Before we go, just out of curiosity, are you not interested because you are not experiencing these issues? Am I calling at a bad time? Or is it because you have these issues covered?” ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmfaj30aa880b5skdtgy3jtj)) - For the second target, I had a friend who worked in the sales department of a large multinational enterprise (source 2). I contacted him and said, “We’re doing some work for We-Do-It and one of our prospects is XYZ. In doing a little research, we noticed that your company has an investment in XYZ. Do you know anyone there?” He replied, “No, I don’t, but a good friend of mine, Bill, heads our investment department and I’m sure he knows all the key players at XYZ. I’ll have him call you.” Later that day Bill called (source 3). He asked what We-Do-It did, and who we wanted to talk to. When we told him we wanted to talk with the CFO, he suggested that the CEO was more appropriate and that he would call him and set it up. ([View Highlight](https://read.readwise.io/read/01jmfb7zpzm4rqbt9eamt718bq))