The Self-Expansion Model and Optimal Relationship Development

However, the self-expansion model also suggests that when relationship development is more certain, differences can be particularly desirable as a relationship with a person who has for example different interests, offers even greater opportunities for expansion through including that person in the self. (View Highlight)

As predicted, participants in the high self-expansion motive condition selected more potential partners who were dissimilar (in this study, with names that indicated a different ethnicity than their own) than did participants in the low self-expansion motive condition. (View Highlight)

Yet another major line of research relevant to the self-expansion model’s notion that falling in love is associated with self-expansion, and especially the greatly anticipated (and highly rewarding) self-expansion from a relationship with this person, has focused on the neural correlates of early stage romantic love. This hypothesized self-expansion (and especially the perceived very substantial opportunity for self-expansion as a relationship is created) in early stage, intense romantic love is hypothesized to represent a powerful motivational state which is represented in the brain by activation of the dopamine reward system. Several functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) studies have consistently demonstrated greater activation in this brain system when viewing a facial photo of (or even being subliminally shown the name of) a person with whom one has recently fallen in love versus various familiar others (for a review, see Acevedo & Aron, 2014). (View Highlight)

Yet over time, as the partner becomes familiar, the rate of self-expansion typically slows down. However, the model hypothesizes that at this point, a sense of self-expandion can be re-invigorated by engaging together (so that the relationship is associated with the experience) in highly novel and challenging activitiesthat generate the kind of excited engagement typically experienced with high levels of self-expansion. Such activities can be anything that is new and engaging, from an activity like sailing or skiing that the couple has never done before, or attending a class together on something they’d both like to learn about, or going out to an event type that is new them, perhaps a county fair for some, or a comedy show for others. (View Highlight)

The Benefits of Self-Expansion

In a study utilizing a random sample of 274 U.S. married individuals, 40% of those married over 10 years reported still being “very intensely in love,” and this was moderately to strongly correlated with engaging in shared novel and challenging activities (O’Leary, Acevedo, Aron, Huddy, & Mashek, 2012). (View Highlight)